Do you believe long distant relationship?
Actually I don't like shenzhen this city,I am thinking about another city to live all the time but my boyfrind is here, also because of him, I live here longer, finally I got the chance to go back shanghai to work and when I was very excited to tell my bf, he was upset and said :"in this case, if you leave here, it means our relationship is end, I don't believe long distant relationship......"
Is it impossible to keep a long distant relationship?when you want to live and work in another city while your parter can't follow and go there with you, you both are far from each other, how will you do?
Is it impossible to keep a long distant relationship?when you want to live and work in another city while your parter can't follow and go there with you, you both are far from each other, how will you do?
Views: 12
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jillian on -
Short term yes if you have mutual trust. sometimes the distance gives you both a chance to realize how much you miss each other .
But if the long-distance for over few years and once the issues of jealousy or mistrust come up, it's not going to work. time wears you down both parties.
Actually it all matters on the person and how commited they are.
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Permalink Reply by Black Dynamite on -
Tough situation to be in but the reality of the fact is: its hard to build up a relationship, let alone maintain one, if you can't see the other person regularly. I think it is impossible for it to work and I can't think of any instances in which it has worked. The best thing to do is to try to end things on a good note, that way you both stay in touch and you never know, your paths could cross again in the future. I think it is much easier to try to stay friends instead of keeping a relationship. 9 times out of 10 the break up ends very badly and you end up disliking your former lover.
For me, I've tried having two long distance relationships in the past and one of them ended badly: her and I haven't really talked since then and the other ended but we stay in touch now and exchange emails. My advice is try your best to preserve the relationship. If the love is strong enough and if he supports your desire to move and work in Shanghai then at least you two can have some kind of friendship. But don't hurt yourself trying to keep a long distance relationship with someone that has no interest in it.
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Permalink Reply by GrandPa on -
I would ask you to consider a different side of this issue. Which is more important to you; living in Shanghai or building the relationship with your boyfriend? Answer that question, and I think you will find the solution to your problem. I think your boyfriend is viewing this issue from a different perspective than you.
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Permalink Reply by Black Dynamite on
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But William she has already stated that she has stayed in Shenzhen longer despite disliking this city because of her boyfriend. How much more does she have to sacrifice? It seems that her boyfriend hasn't had to compromise or sacrifice anything as she has let him have his way. To me it seems as if he has been selfish and thinking more of himself and not "them" whereas she is questioning her own desire to be happy in a different city in order to stay with her boyfriend.
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Permalink Reply by GrandPa on
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I agree, if the boy had written the post I would have told him basically the same thing; which is more important to you living in Shenzhen or building the relationship. I really was not telling her what to do, but trying to put a different perspective on the problem.
The best thing that could happen to them, is that the boy and the girl think about it, and then meet, the boy says I love you I will move to Shanghai, the girl says I love you I will stay here...then they have sex! ;-)
You know, I never seem to express myself correctly in writing, I guess I should have paid attention in school during English composition class, and not spent my time looking out the window, thinking about baseball and wondering what the girl next to me looked like without clothes. Ah, Well, too late to improve now!
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Permalink Reply by Cynic The Troll on -
They normally do not work unless you two have been together for quite awhile and you and he are able to travel frequently to see each other.
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Permalink Reply by Christopher on -
We all find out the hard way.
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Permalink Reply by Coffee Break on -
it never works, soon or later there will be new partner...
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Permalink Reply by R U K N A on -
Never works........ Someone somewhere does find u sooner or later..........Unless someones being too paranoid about it ...........
I have maintained long distance friendships with lot of people and its perfect as far as friendship is concerned.... but the BF/GF thing doesnt work this way.......
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Permalink Reply by Xueling (Céline) on -
How long is a Long-Distance relationship going to last b4 one (or both) realises, and makes a decision
Agree on that! It seems u don't have a solution for that. Of course it can not last forever.
If you know when will it end, say in less than 1 years, it will be hard, but possible. You do know, some people have a relationship like that during the whole 4 years in college right? But they are silly when they are in college. It seems that your bf won't be like that. So, be realist. Make a choice. Be brave!
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Permalink Reply by Paulo on -
I read that people who started distant relationships over the internet got in trouble once they moved in together. Hah, can you imagine? If you live apart for too long you will live your seperate and different lives and have to rer-adjust once rejoining. I am not even talking about temptations on the way (which is soooooooo natural, only for true believers it doesn't seem to be). Knew this girl who "cheated" on her bf like crazy (while living apart), then told him about it, after which he broke up, not cool really right? They were perfect together. I see living seperated for job or child reasons a lot more here than would be accepted elsewhere in the world btw/
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