Do you believe long distant relationship?
Actually I don't like shenzhen this city,I am thinking about another city to live all the time but my boyfrind is here, also because of him, I live here longer, finally I got the chance to go back shanghai to work and when I was very excited to tell my bf, he was upset and said :"in this case, if you leave here, it means our relationship is end, I don't believe long distant relationship......"
Is it impossible to keep a long distant relationship?when you want to live and work in another city while your parter can't follow and go there with you, you both are far from each other, how will you do?
Is it impossible to keep a long distant relationship?when you want to live and work in another city while your parter can't follow and go there with you, you both are far from each other, how will you do?
Views: 12
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Caroline on -
It will work if you are rich, one of you can visit each other every weekend.
But if you can't meet each other for long period...
In this case, i don't believe in long distance relationship! We always have to make some choice during LOVE...
Choose the one that won't let you regret.
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Permalink Reply by Wu Juan on -
Thank you for William's comments,I desire to be happy in different city so that I am planning to leave,while I want to keep the relatioship with my bf because I love him,but once I leave Shenzhen I will not come back. Now the situation is that my bf for sure will not leave and hope I would stay here with him,but it is too hard to me I have my stories,I can't enjoy the life to live here everyday, so what is life? To Nicole, you are lucky because you got one love you so much, but I think I would not be so lucky. I agree that love is to give,if he loves me he should follow me, no matter how it is, but if two are thinking the same and no one would like to give way, so how come?
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Permalink Reply by Xueling (Céline) on -
Jan, if you really love each other, I suggest you give another thought of every side. Starts by you, first, make a list of your happiness and unhappiness in Shanghai and in Shenzhen. You need to be objective on that, don't keep the "good old times" thought. Then take the unhappiness list of Shenzhen, imagine what they will turn into in Shanghai BASED ON YOUR REAL EXPERIENCE in Shanghai, not imagination, to see if you can solve the problems you have in Shenzhen.
If the problem you have here is about your friends, I will say there're always chances to meet new friends. If it is about the entertainments of life, have you ask yourself: Do you know Shenzhen enough? Have you try enough to find the fun of this city? Have you denied Shenzhen before knowing it? If it is about the weather, I find it hard to believe, compared to Shanghai...But if it is about the family, I don't have much to say, it's for you to consider. I myself actually came back in Shenzhen from Shanghai mostly for my familly.
I did miss Shanghai a lot too and regretted to come back. Why, cuz when I came back, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I still like a lot, and I needed to find a job, and I found there aren't cool people to meet, no interesting activities to do here. But now, after certain search and going out there, all start to come. I don't think there is absolute better or worse between shanghai an Sz. Personally, I think the night life in Shanghai can be more colorful, but there's no nature side in shanghai while in Sz you can easily reach the beach and montains for some outdoor activities...Anyway, I think it's not only about this time. some times it's an attitude thing. some won't be happy not matter where they are.
there's always a phase of missing old times when we make big change, the important thing is to be objective and evne more important, is to manage your life with your own hands, find the best things you need for your life. Adapt yourself to life and the city, cuz they won't do the same for you.
Of course, I hope your boyfriend can give it a thought too. But unfairly, it seems oftenly it's girls who follow their husband. But as you said, there's no way to be faire for both. As long as you are happy. Good luck to you!
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Permalink Reply by Huge legs on -
Hi,Jan. To my life,it's the most important thing for me to stay with my beloved man who loves me too..Nothing can be compared with this: the climate?,the better job?more fun?big money?...they all like shit if compared with a soul relationship...
I don't care where I would stay with him : China,Sudan,USA,Canada,Mexico, Mauritius...I do think all countries/cities have their beaufiful ,special, and attractive side for us if we really wanna love them...just like a man,if you really wanna love him,you alwayse can find the special quality to love with on him
Good luck to you Jan.
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Permalink Reply by Katia on -
Hi Jan! I think you do not love him. If you do, you never mind no about the city , no other terms of living. Staying with HIM would be on the first place. I think if you could find work in Shanghai, you also could easy find the same work in Shenzhen city. But..work is also different.. if it's only short-time business trip, everybody and your boyfriend will understand. But if you want to move to live and work in Shanghai for a long time.. that's another thing. Carefully think about your feeling. If you really love him, stay here with him, otherwise you will lose your love, you will lose your partner and will stay lonely in a big Shanghai city. Love do not come easy in our life. If you have true LOVE, keep it!
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Permalink Reply by Lisa Trumps on
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If you cannot compromise on the situation then how will your relationship work? You both need to discuss the situation and think what is best for both of you! Once this happened to me...I was willing to try long distance but my bf didn't want to....no reason just said no!
You need to think of the future...if he doesn't want to make the move, or you don't want to stay then you can't be together. It's sad but there is someone else out there who will appreciate you more!
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Permalink Reply by Mysterion on -
Long Distance Relationships = Suck. But they can work, just not for me.
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Permalink Reply by Steven Piers Zheng on -
I don't like the idea of long distant relationship!!!! maybe it is a good excuse to review the relationship!
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Yeah but it is also a cowards way out! Just to tell your partner you are leaving is no excuse to end it! Why not try and then see. If they give you no excuse as to the reason why they cannot come with you or work it out then obviously sometimes it is just an easy way out!
If someone truly loves you they will give it a go! If it fails you both know.
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Permalink Reply by David Ho on -
well if you mean LONG TERM long distance imo 9/10 your not looking at a positive outcome
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Permalink Reply by Eva on -
shenzhen is a danger city..if you put your BF alone here..one week or one month later him will not belong to u.
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