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How do you keep things professional when it comes to an Ex you were deeply in love with?

Story behind:

I was with this guy for about 2 years, we were engaged and planed to get married but before that his visa was expired and he couldn't find a suitable job in China that he had to go back to Canada for his career development. He then broke up with me after 1 year of separation claimed that he did not feel for me anymore. I was hurt and couldn't get it over with that I had to leave Guangzhou which full of our memory to work in Shenzhen.

Current Situation:

We are both some sort of professionals in mobile game industry that we are working in the same company again, and he is involved with my day to day work which I can't avoid. My employer is a Nasdaq listed IT company and I do have a stable career growth with it, I understand that things were long over and I should be smart enough to deal with it and ignore my personal feelings for him but I just can't. 


Could you guys give me some suggestions what I should do? Stay or resign and try to get another job which might be a bit more difficult to have the same opportunity as I have it here...

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I never say he's bad, the problem is on me that I'm not ready to deal with him...

Read carefully lady. I didn't say he was bad either.

I meant to say that for me, most problems have a way of deflating when I talk them out with someone else. Especially if it is the someone else that I have the problem with.

Hello Janice, 

I tried to answers as a human who doesn't know you or your bf.  Also please don't angry or upset if my answer could not satisfying you.

based on my opinions, your topic are quiet interesting, but the story you have and the questions you have sounds like a hidden meaning. 

in this case do you want to ask about how to be a professional or how to control your lovely feeling ? 

based on your story, for the histories first, i guess, you have to be know about he's a foreign and as a foreigner who living in China, and any countries, there will always have a risk for unable to get a visa, and if you two already engaged then why don't two of you move together to Canada on that time ? well, you did not tell anyone in here about why, maybe you have your own reason for it. But in the histories he also claimed about he did not have a feeling anymore, i think that is mean done and you can find another one. Well, should be hurt, because you was believe in him, but have you ever forgive him ? and think him as a foreign, well, he also might forgot to ask an apology from you due to the his situation at that time. 

but let's have a look on the situations now, a year later, you was in this company before him, but now someone hire him to work in this company again. I guess, it will be depends on your own self to control of your emotions of humanity lovely feeling because you are an adult and a mature woman, and your own career, if you think this company is truly good and you have a faith with the company to expanding your potential then why don't you just stay in this company. Also if you already forgive him then why don't two of you just being a friend ? if can't be a lover anymore then why don't be a friend ?

Well, to be a professional sometimes, we have to sacrifice something, and what about your ex ? have you ever talk with him ? or only anger ?

So, i hope my opinion can give you a bit of mindset.

I apologize for any inconvenience.

I ask you one simple thing ........ do you think feelings are always same.. they don't get influenced by external environment.

how often does our feeling change with our moods.........

I don't see anything wrong he calling it off considering the distance and the remote possibility of coming together.

for marriage you need your head above your heart, a marriage needs lot more then just love.......

Doesn't sound like he likes you very much. In fact from what you have said he has little, if any feelings for you at all. My guess this was likely the case when you were dating also, otherwise he would have a serious problem with this working arrangement also. It seems like the affection is all one sided. I would find some dignity and stop fawning over a guy who clearly is not interested, and who is probably not even worth your time, or effort.

You are absolutely right and I am doing the best I can to keep my pride!

Good, I am glad to hear it. Hope you are feeling better these days. Take care.

Its in the past... Plain and simple, you just have to get over it (even if its not easy)

You can try to meet new people, people outside your work or the common friends you have. I dont mean to date. Just that meeting new people might help you move on... from my own exprience, which is very alike, but not that worse.

understand your feeling,just work as colleague not as EX, you love him before coz he gives you love, everyone has limited including knowlege and skills and experience, do yourself better as a smart woman

What does that mean anyway? Deeply in love with? When I hear this nonsense I get annoyed. Deeply in love? As if you cannot control your emotions. As if your emotions are your boss, and they make you do things that are not in your best interest. No, you can absolutely choose not to love someone. If someone hits me, poof I don't love you, bye. If someone steals from me sorry, I no longer love you. If someone cheats on me whilst in a committed relationship poof, I no longer love you. This silly notion that you cannot control your feelings, or who you love is absurd. Take some responsibility for yourself. In love. What does that mean anyway? 



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