Shenzhen  Stuff

Who should pay for the bill when going out on a date , the man or the woman or go dutch (AA)?

Though I would say that most people would answer that it should be the man.
As I have observed in different cultures around the globe basically from watching literally thousands of movies and reading thousands of books, my guess would be that the majority would say that it is the man who should pay the bill when going out on a date.

I am curious what Shenzhenstuff members would say.
In today's world when the opportunities for both men and women are roughly equal, it could be fair to say that going dutch is the right solution. Considering that the modern woman has always been advocating for women's liberation and equality.

Consider the following scenarios;
1. A man asks a girl out to an affordable restaurant (maybe about 30 to 50rmb a meal) but the girl refuses and suggests that they go to a more expensive one (about 100 to 200 per meal).
Even though a guy could not refuse a woman she likes and eventually agrees, the woman senses the man's reluctance especially when it is time to pay the bill. Even after a very wonderful dinner date, with a very good conversation, the  woman decides not to meet the man ever again.

2. A woman asks a man out for dinner several times, and the man pays for the bill all the time. The girl never even offers. Eventually, the guy likes the girl and proposes that they go steady. The girl refuses saying that they are not compatible, and that they are just meant to be friends. The girl continues to ask the man out saying that she likes to hang out with him. More often than not, she would even bring her friends along. And, of course, the man pays the bill.

3. A man asks a girl out but she says she is too busy to go out. After 3 months, the girl decides to accept the man's invitation and suggests that they go to Disneyland. The girl clearly says that she will bring her friend with her and that the man should be paying for the entrance fees. (entrance fee is about 350 per person). That also means the guy pays for everything else like the taxi fare, lunch and dinner, etc.

4. A man asks a woman he met online for a dinner date. The woman lives about 2 hours away and only agrees if the man goes to her location. The man agrees only if the woman will treat the man for dinner even just at McDonald's or KFC. The woman agrees without hesitation and says they should set a date within the week. Unfortunately after that, the woman has never replied to any text message nor answered any call. 
In most cases, a woman would disagree and outright say, "in your dreams". 

There are hundreds of different scenarios and I would love to hear about other people's experiences, both men and women. 
If men are to pay the bill, and women just collect and select, multiply this a thousand fold, a guy needs to spend his entire life savings in his pursuit of finding the right woman. That is considering the average pay in this part of the world is only 1,500 rmb per month even for a university graduate. 
No wonder a property developer once made an ad saying, "An apartment is more reliable than a man." - 房子比男人可靠。

In some rare instances, I have met some women who insist that we go dutch. Probably one in a thousand, it is meeting one in several years. 


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Here we go again
Hurting each other for no reason
Wondering why we keep repeating the same mistake...


LOL
MANY girls are actually striving to be independent and support themselves!

I will help you with READING COMPREHENSION: I NEVER said I want her to pay for me, are you a troll trying to stir trouble? SHE DECIDED to go 50/50 because she is someone who wants to support herself. Who am I to argue? Some girls have pride in being able to have their own money. Maybe it has something to do with dignity.

I have a college degree and made more in America, I came here for the experience, so you can stop with your baseless, incorrect assumptions right now!

Okay, lets break this down so even you can understand:

1. Most of the time 50/50, as agreed by both of us, she insists
2. Occasionally I treat her or it is 75/25. Plus I buy her lots of presents
3. Very rarely she decides she wants to treat me. I DO NOT ask for it. Usually she pays without me realizing it.

This set up does not make me a loser, and it was something we both agreed upon. Can you get that through your thick skull? Jesus.

I was talking about the concept of GOING DUTCH in all nine of my classes at my UNI. Students love the concept and/or agree with it or thinks it makes sense in a country that is socially, changing rapidly.

The other day she was running late and needed to get a Taxi and realized she had no money on her and need to get money out. I offered to give her 100 rmb (way more than needed) to get it. She said "No, I can go to the ATM and get money out". I insisted a few times and she took the money. We said goodbye and later I realized, she had managed to slip the rmb note back onto the table in the living room without me noticing. So obviously she went to the ATM. Now what does this tell you about my gf? She wants to support herself, SO BLOODLY WHAT?
CD, she will never get it cause she is one of MILLIONS of those chinese girls adapted to this fucked society and culture.

Its kind of like arguing with a ignorant idiot, there is no point and most likely you won't (can't) win.

You got real lucky finding a girl who is independent and knows reality to fantasy. These girls out here, all they do is go on dating sites 9-5 rather then working. They spend their time trying to find the best husband this society has to offer. Best in terms of who will pay their way in life, of course.
Yah, I need to stop. I am really wording it in a way that should be easy to understand, but Iris does not get it.

There are indeed Chinese girls who will try their hardest to pull their own weight, in other words, insist very much on paying their half.

Iris, what do you have to say about the story about my gf leaving the 100 rmb note on my table for the taxi? It was her choice, made in secret, and her choice to get her own money for the taxi. What do you have to say about that?

How does my gfs choice to go dutch make me a loser? It is her choice remember.
this girl , my idole

really independent. but this kind of girls is rarely seen in china.
in China all Chinesemen pay for date bill.

All foreigners are evil...bwahahaha...
whats the nick name the chinese call us, oh, right... WHITE DEVILS
How are they uneducated and rude? At the very least, they have GOOD reading comprehension skills!
we foreigners are uneducated and rude because they don't follow local culture by paying for all the girls, lock and load spitting every 2.5 minutes, honk our horns excessively, throw the trash on the floor or put our underwear in the window for everyone to see!
I had a girl who wasn't rich either, but she would get angry everytime I tried to foot the bill, and never talk to me the rest of the way home. I never quite understood this way of thinking, because I would always offer to pay, when I did it once without her knowledge she got even angrier. I told her I only mean well, as a gentleman I would like the opportunity to show you that even in such a small thing as a meal, I can provide. At least make me feel like a man when we go out. You know what she said? She said "You're already man enough for me, in every way I could possibly imagine. Paying for our meal makes me feel mature and independent, and at least I'm spending my money on things I enjoy; the meal and your company."

How do you argue with that?
So what I did was provide her with other stuff like thoughtful presents.
Did she get the BMW or keys to apartment yet? If not, her mission failed. (jk)
I had a girl...
Oh, and fail she did.
We broke up already. Can't say I'm happy about it, though.

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