Shenzhen  Stuff

Who should pay for the bill when going out on a date , the man or the woman or go dutch (AA)?

Though I would say that most people would answer that it should be the man.
As I have observed in different cultures around the globe basically from watching literally thousands of movies and reading thousands of books, my guess would be that the majority would say that it is the man who should pay the bill when going out on a date.

I am curious what Shenzhenstuff members would say.
In today's world when the opportunities for both men and women are roughly equal, it could be fair to say that going dutch is the right solution. Considering that the modern woman has always been advocating for women's liberation and equality.

Consider the following scenarios;
1. A man asks a girl out to an affordable restaurant (maybe about 30 to 50rmb a meal) but the girl refuses and suggests that they go to a more expensive one (about 100 to 200 per meal).
Even though a guy could not refuse a woman she likes and eventually agrees, the woman senses the man's reluctance especially when it is time to pay the bill. Even after a very wonderful dinner date, with a very good conversation, the  woman decides not to meet the man ever again.

2. A woman asks a man out for dinner several times, and the man pays for the bill all the time. The girl never even offers. Eventually, the guy likes the girl and proposes that they go steady. The girl refuses saying that they are not compatible, and that they are just meant to be friends. The girl continues to ask the man out saying that she likes to hang out with him. More often than not, she would even bring her friends along. And, of course, the man pays the bill.

3. A man asks a girl out but she says she is too busy to go out. After 3 months, the girl decides to accept the man's invitation and suggests that they go to Disneyland. The girl clearly says that she will bring her friend with her and that the man should be paying for the entrance fees. (entrance fee is about 350 per person). That also means the guy pays for everything else like the taxi fare, lunch and dinner, etc.

4. A man asks a woman he met online for a dinner date. The woman lives about 2 hours away and only agrees if the man goes to her location. The man agrees only if the woman will treat the man for dinner even just at McDonald's or KFC. The woman agrees without hesitation and says they should set a date within the week. Unfortunately after that, the woman has never replied to any text message nor answered any call. 
In most cases, a woman would disagree and outright say, "in your dreams". 

There are hundreds of different scenarios and I would love to hear about other people's experiences, both men and women. 
If men are to pay the bill, and women just collect and select, multiply this a thousand fold, a guy needs to spend his entire life savings in his pursuit of finding the right woman. That is considering the average pay in this part of the world is only 1,500 rmb per month even for a university graduate. 
No wonder a property developer once made an ad saying, "An apartment is more reliable than a man." - 房子比男人可靠。

In some rare instances, I have met some women who insist that we go dutch. Probably one in a thousand, it is meeting one in several years. 

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Add: and british.

Take it easy CD...remember my post earlier in the day?

"because in this society the girls above average looking girls know they don't have to AA or flip the bill...specially when there are plenty of guys willing to pay their way in life.

In other words, we live in a fucked culture and society"

Either accept it or don't. I refuse to accept these prancy little bitches attitudes of keeping options open and paying for everything that it got to the point of me becoming a "player" in their eyes. Oh well, they're the ones getting fucked and chucked at the end of the day cause of their way of thinking.

To find wife material from this country is kind of like finding your soul mate by calling a girls phone number which is written on the guys bathroom stall.

So uh, how did you meet your wife? Well, there was this phone number on the wall, in the guys bathroom stall, I called it, we went on a few dates and next thing we knew, we were getting married!
im one of those chinese girls. If i refute you on this point, i would be super hypocritical
Material is the first thing to consider when thinking about marry. Even tthough the girl doesnt care how swollen the guy's wallet is, girl's parents care . marrying daughter to a decent guy ( well educated ,from good/ well off family、good nature) gives parents face. There is anothe thing you have to keep in mind, why every girls here want to find a rich guy, why everyone here save money, saving saving ,people keep saving for the education fee for next generation, for medical cost, for house.for the rest of their life when they are old, and in case of emegency. So parents would be released if they marry their daughter to a decent guy. to the girl. marring to a decent guy make parents happy, and it means life is secured,
believe me , im a chinese,live a simple life, as simple as the majority of the chinese ,talking with friends , sharing opinion about the condition of the guys .so i think that is the answer why girls want to find decent guys
Out of all you wrote, all I understood was you agreeing to what I've been saying all day.

"In other words, we live in a fucked culture and society"

I think you summed it up that you're one of those Chinese girls who "has" to do such a way because the way you were raised and to make parents happy....

Which is why I prefer to find my own countries women who has independence and can support herself financially and through personal issues on her own without any force or pressure from her parents.
I am lost, are you on PMS or in some strange, yet odd way (lost in translation) still agreeing with what I said?

Also if your bro is calling to send your BF to South Africa (half way across the world)...he must not love you very much, heh.

And if you can't find yourself your own damn job and need ask people for help, then sad to say, you're just another dependent person relying on someone else to do something for you which you can not achieve yourself.
Oops, looks like someone has deleted their posts...:-P
yep, go figure. She probably got so depressed that this society and culture is truly fucked in ways she never imagined possible and off'd herself.
The girls you describe are girls who can't think for themselves.

Your parents aren't dating the man, you are.
If I met a girl whose parents didn't like the guy she was dating and she told her parents to fuck off, now that would be awesome.
That's an Americanizm, Kam :-)
I don't see people here saying that a girl is a "gold digger" if she doesn't pay the date bill, but they may have said "gold diggers" will not pay the bill. This is not the same thing.

You got an apartment as a parting gift from your ex? This is a practice westerners do not understand, or do.

I have been asked if I would buy an apartment and a car for a girl (A theoretical question from an ex, as her boyfriend was refusing). I said I would buy a car and an apartment FOR US to share in a loving relationship, not as a gift. A relationship is about sharing life together. However there seem to be more and more Chinese ladies who believe that being a girlfriend should be rewarding in a material way rather than emotionally (I do not assume that is you, just what I have seen). They insist on a monthly allowance: This is a salary for sex. There is a name for anyone who receives money for sex, and I don't want to date/live with/marry a prostitute. This is maybe a western view, or just mine.



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