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Why can't we just let teenage girls enjoy their sexuality?

Growing up in the Midlands in the 1990s, there were three main sources of information about sex: More magazine, late-night Channel 4 show Eurotrash and Judy Blume’s novel Forever. (Imagine my disappointment in later life when I realised that no man I met would ever admit to having a name for his penis, or a fetish for dressing up as a penguin.) The sex education lessons at my Catholic school were of the type parodied in Tina Fey’s film Mean Girls: “Don’t have sex … because you will get pregnant and die.”

So starts a Grauniad article by Helen Lewis linked here.  You can read the whole thing, but it’s quite long. So here are a few random paragraphs:

“There was a sense that I and many women I knew had been led astray by Hollywood and television depictions of sexuality,” Dunham has said, adding that she wants “… people, ultimately, even if they’re disturbed by certain moments, to feel bolstered and normalised by the sex that’s on the show.”

That is also the aim behind Caitlin Moran’s definitely-not-autobiographical novel How to Build a Girl, and Bryony Gordon’s memoir of her turbulent 20s, The Wrong Knickers. Both authors are funny and dirty, and they are plainly writing, if not exactly to their younger selves, then to girls like they once were.

Moran’s “no harm done” chirpiness is what her fans love. “Even now at 24, reading some of her pieces makes me realise that I’m not a complete freak, or hypersexual,” said Kathryn Felton. “Caitlin Moran has, as far as I’m concerned, essentially written the Holy Bible on female sexuality,” said Erin Walker, an 18-year-old student. “I appreciate the lack of shame she expresses when talking about her past as a ‘slut’, and how she’s working to eliminate the negative stigma around being a sexually active female who enjoys being sexually active.”

The article finishes with six well-known people giving their answers to “What I wish I’d known… and What advice I’d give to young women…”. Here are Miranda Sawyer’s [journalist, 47 years old] replies:

That it’s sexy. That it’s easy. That it gets better if you practise with a friend.

The only important rule is: never have sex with someone who doesn’t actually like you. Also, it’s best if the person you’re shagging is mentally there, as well as physically: meaning, not too out of it and wanting to sleep with you, rather than that attractive bottle of whisky/anyone with breasts/the coat-stand.

How would you answer those questions?

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Typical Feminist BS.

My answer would be: Stop making excuses and blaming society for your own insecurities.

what is the legal age of consent in China?....a friend of mine wants to know

I believe it is 14.


You should try to live in a Catholic country, it's even worse than you could imagine. We have a Religion teacher for every high school class all over the country. Those teachers are appointed by the Vatican, but paid by our government: so, they skip the entire public selection process, but enjoy the perks of working for the public education system. What they do, instead of teaching history of the Catholic religion, is preaching the Vatican propaganda: just a few days ago, a class in a major Northern city revolted against their teacher, because she was teaching homosexuality is a disease that can be cured... This is happening in 2014. No wonder, my country is considered to be stuck in the Middle Age.

My younger daughter got really good sex education in the UK during her teen years. It covered practicalities, not only guarding against disease and pregnancy, but things like masturbation; emotions; and relationships.  I was most impressed. My elder daughter had her teen years in HK and the sex education there was much more basic. I had none, back in the 50s and 60s.

They both started full sex at 14, as they told me years later, and knew what they were doing. I didn't start till I was 17.

Your tales are worse than I imagined - sounds like yours is worse than none.

I remember having sex-ed circa 1992, so I was on my third year at the High School: the class (3 or 4 lessons, one per week) was led by a professional psychologist and we flew over the entire topic without going much into details... we had no enough time to do that. The guy talked about condoms, precautions, masturbation, etc. Most of the time was spent warning us against unwanted pregnancies and diseases, not much on emotions and practicalities... The class was honestly the best you could have at the time.

If any 14 year old girls would be interested in learning about sex.....please contact THE FRED

***Top student will win a FREE shopping spree which will include new clothes, make-up and other girly things....possibly a trip to Thailand or Beijing!

I wish you were my sex-ed teacher...

this is a 18+ website so far i know

practise with a friend. hahaha

i think 14 is too young.

Do you mean the legal age in China or my daughters?

I think that 14 is far too young for most Chinese girls I've met.  My daughters were much more mature at 14 than many Chinese girls in their 20s.



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