ALONE
As we did not have electric power in my working area until 19:00 yesterday, we cancelled the first period of classes. Then I went with my colleague to hike in Lichi Park and do some shopping for couples of hours.
Walking on the street, observing the skyscrapers, breathing the air, I felt alone and sad all of a sudden among my excited colleagues. Seriously, there was some tear dropping out of my eyes until Joyce and Sarah noticed my sadness and tried to make me feel better.
Walking in Lichi Park, I was thinking of sb; Window shopping in KK mall, I was still thinking of sb, thinking of family, work and future. Well, the feeling was so complexed. I told Joyce and Sarah that it happened to me couples of times before but could be the first time in Shenzhen. Oh well, I have been such an outsider for my whole life. Yet, I rarely feel bad about being an outsider. Instead, being someone different is great!(Chinese culture does not teach us about being differnt is good; I always want my students to be brave to voice what's in their mind and be differnt)
After the foreign teaching class, I did share this feeling with Steve, he told me he felt very excited but yes, he did feel like going back to the US and experienced there...
I do know cold weather always deepens people's feelings. I will try to keep my spirts up. Just hanging out with my colleagues,killing time by this way makes me feel like it is a good-for-nothing day!
Cheers! We were born alone. Keeping opening up to the world, experiencing and exploring your life! And stay different!
Cosmospolitan Lucy
Comment
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Comment by LLY on September 20, 2012 at 10:53am -
yes, you hit the point,Michelle! We are just hunman beings.So just be positive and be bold to welcome the future!
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Comment by Michelle Pan on September 20, 2012 at 10:47am -
Sometimes I have the sad feelings, Feel lonely, and afraid of the future. Then I will write down my feelings , or talk to my friends, and my mind will calm down. It is no need to worry too much or think too much, in my opinion. Be positive about the things around, all will be fine.
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Comment by LLY on September 20, 2012 at 10:05am
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LOVER, I do have like 50 kids, but me myself is a kid too! lol
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Comment by Mars Lover on September 20, 2012 at 9:52am -
LLY, you have "kids" (more than 1 ) ??
Good for you. How cute !!
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Comment by LLY on September 17, 2012 at 7:31pm
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Jenny, I think we all need a positive view on life and let it drive us to work for our own future, especially, when we are weak. So we can still SEE the HOPE when we feel we can't.
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Comment by LLY on September 17, 2012 at 7:25pm
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@Mars Lover, thanks! We can't be happy all the time. The weak feelings will come and go, it is just like a cycle thing. I think I have got over it, although it might come again at times. What I need is someone that I can talk to, share something with and spend time with, a real good friend, but not my kids or my colleagues.
@Praveen kumar, yes, it gave me more time to think. We all need such moments! Thanks!
@Heather Cai,thanks!I am not a real weak person. I will wipe the shits and get on a nicer track of life! Thank you so much!
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Comment by Sara on September 17, 2012 at 7:13pm -
Totaly can understand such feeling ,no words ,no struggle ,just keeo silent and see the view away ,there must be someone or some memory in your mind ,we are lonley ,many people are lonley in sz,even if we are alone ,we have no someone can be stay ,always ,we just work and live here ,no hope ,when we open our eyes ,no the passtion to stand up ,because nobody wait for us.
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Comment by Heather Cai on September 17, 2012 at 11:25am
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I agree with Mars Lover...
Find out what upset you first . I can't see what's ur sadness on the blog but know you are sad... So you have to help yourself by wiping those shits out and start new life.... Be different ! I can't agree any more...
Cheers up ,great thinker !!
;-)
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Comment by Praveen kumar on September 16, 2012 at 5:33pm -
enjoy it dear till it last soon you will enter the stage when you wont be ever able to give time to your self. every day will start the very same place it ended and it will go on and go on. this kind of peace is someething you can sit and look back, soon you will have to get into the mad rush of survival and years will just fly away.
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Comment by Mars Lover on September 15, 2012 at 11:53pm
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Sadly, I walk along sometimes and become saddened by thoughts of my own, so I know what you are talking about.
When we are sad, sometimes it is good to go out and have an activity that will take our minds off of our troubles. Going to the park for a walk is not always the best solution because it gives you time to think, and you are trying to put your mind onto other things at these times. Going to a place of interest is much better for turning your mind (and mood) away from the sad things. Going shopping in busy locations also works.
There are many different reasons for our sadness.
If we are sad because we have lost someone close to us, then it is good to talk with someone about that person. Past memories of them can help us to forget about the sadness.
If we are sad because of loneliness, this is more difficult because it depends on the actual circumstances of the loneliness itself, what we should do. Some people may need to go to a doctor and talk about the problem, some others may need to just meet and spend time with new friends, some may even need to become involved with more intense things to get over these feelings, and some may never get over these feelings at all until the exact thing that is making them lonely is overcome.
There are many books concerning sadness and how to deal with it, but I don't like to think about "dealing with it" as a solution, I feel this is more a cover up of the feelings and they will come back in time.
Whatever you decide to do, don't rush into it. Think about whether it will help your feelings or not and only then act on it.
Good luck on this, I know that I don't always have a solution to mine.
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