美文共赏：It’s Never Too Late

摘抄美文共赏：

It’s Never Too Late

Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about,regretted,or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud, This seemed like a very private procees,but there’s always some brave soul in the crowd who will volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list .the instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communications, having visions of alienating just about everyone from my life.

The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story:

“while making my list , I remembered an incident from high school . I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was a sheriff in town that none of us kids liked . One night , my two buddies and I decided to play a trick on Sheriff Brown . After drinking a few beers , we found a can of red paint , climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town , and wrote , on the tank , in bright red letters: Sheriff Brown is an s.o.b. The next day , the town arose to see our glorious sign. Within two hours, Sheriff Brown had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.

“Nearly 20 years later, Sheriff Brown’s name appears on my list. I didn’t even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Brown still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard:’hello?’I said :’Sheriff Brown?’Pause.’Yup’ well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it. ‘Pause. ‘I knew it!’ he yelled back. We had a good laugh a lively discussion. His closing words were: Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your buddies got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me …for your sake. ‘”

Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it’s never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.

决不太晚

几年前，我参加了一个有关人际关系的交流课程，其间我有过这样一次非同寻常的经历。老师要求我们将过去那些感到羞耻的、愧疚的、遗憾的或悔恨的事情列举出来。一周后他请大家宣读自己所列的清单。这看起来有点涉及隐私，却总有人自告奋勇。听了别人的陈述之后我的清单愈发长了起来。3周后，我的清单上竟达101条之多。后来，老师建议我们想法弥补缺憾，向别人真诚道歉，或采取行动来纠正自己的过失。我对此举能否增进我的人际关系深表疑惑，相反却认为这只能使彼此更加疏远。

到了下周，坐在我身旁的那位男士举手自愿讲述了这个故事：

“我在列举清单时，想起高中时发生的一件事情，我在衣阿华州的一个小镇长大。镇上有个我们孩子们都讨厌的郡长。有天晚上，我和两个伙伴决定要捉弄这个叫布朗的郡长。喝了几口啤酒之后，我们找到一罐红颜料，我们爬到镇 子中央高高的水塔之上，在上面用鲜红的颜料写道：布朗是个狗娘养的。第二天，镇上的人们起来后都看到了我们的‘大作‘。两个小时后，布朗把我们3个人弄到他的办公室。我的伙伴们承认了错误而我却撒谎抵赖，蒙混过关。从此没有人知道真相。

“这件事都快过去20年了。今天布朗郡长的名字出现在我的清单上，我甚至不知道他是否还在人世。上个周末，我给衣阿华州的家乡打电话查问，果然有个叫罗杰.布朗的先生。我于是给他打电话。铃声响 了几下后，我听到‘喂，你好‘我问：‘是布朗郡长吗？’那边沉默了一下，‘是的’‘那好，我是吉米.考金斯。我想告诉你那事我也有份’又是沉默‘我早就知道！’他大声回应。我们于是大笑，相谈得很愉快。他最后说：‘吉米，我一直为你感 到不安，因为你的伙伴们都已摘掉了心病，而你这么多年却一直挂在心上。我想应该感谢你打来电话… …这是在为你着想。‘”

吉米鼓励我化解我清单上的101条。这费了我近2年的时间，但这却成了我以后从事矛盾调解工作的起点和动力。不论冲突、纠纷或处境多么严重，我一直记着摒弃前嫌，化解宿怨，亡羊补牢，为时不晚。