The Battle for Dignity: From America to Europe to China

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Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 17, 2012 at 1:11pm

That's backwards.

Comment by THiNKTaNK on August 16, 2012 at 4:41pm

= = =

I have never used Twitter

= = =

In that case, the conversation is over. No hard feelings. Your questions were all addressed. It just went right over your head. And I've seen this kind of thing several times. Once communication becomes a contest about who thinks he/she is better, I lose interest. There are limits to reason.

I operate on several productivity and social network sites & for the umpteenth time:

It is intellectual humility to not walk up to someone and tell them how isolated or not they are. Especially, when you admit you don't fully understand Technology in general or the technology you're using in the first place. Insecurity is not my problem. Money and opportunity (as in level playing field) are. And when a GROWN MAN is aware he was 24hrs to get it right with aging parents and a multiple problems, and he isn't stupid, he manages his time efficiently. So ALLOW ME TO BE HUMAN and continue managing my time efficiently. Not here to prove anything to anyone. Plus, I have a Beijing lawyer friend who did and said some of the same things you're doing until my Chinese Assistant broke things down to her in a 1hr conversation and she felt so stupid. Because she realized she'd been close-minded and ignorant...despite her Cambridge education. Too old and AWAKE to use Social Media the way many are. 

If you don't get it, tough luck.

Got a family to feed.

Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 16, 2012 at 4:40pm

Good for you.

Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 16, 2012 at 4:13pm

I have never used Twitter, so couldn't say. I do worry about the content of the reply in so much as it is mostly all irrelevant to my comment. And why do you feel it necessary to add something about a 'stuffer' I know in your house? Is it to get a reaction from me or to belittle them? Again, I do not expect this question answered as they generally never are. To say that you go 'off on a tangant' would be more accurate, one should learn to stay on point sir. And I still don't know if the laundry got done ; )

Simply put you said

Never. I know what value is when I see it.

Which is fair enough, and your right to do so. It just gives me this sadness you are closed off from anything you look down on, disagree with, cannot accept, define as 'foolish' or generally block out. This smacks of hubris, and in no way as the objective soul you claim to be, it is merely subjective. Especially in the field of ethics. One cannot claim to be anything when detached from everything. The ability to grow as an individual is based on a whole lot more than what you or I may think or know. Knowledge is not wisdom, acquiring wisdom is accepting everything, even the absurd. Perhaps I just developed a thicker skin. I need criticism in my life to give me balance, I think we all do. When facing real viciousness I found as a young man it is always wise to ignore it. One cannot simply deny it, even if denial is the most common of all human responses, we must let it in and love it a little. Finding a way to educate these poisons out of society has long since been many a mans dream. Sadly, they still run riot everywhere.

I joke, I jest, and I do enjoy banter. But it goes no further than that. Did I ever tell you I nearly killed a man once? He was my Sisters husband, a real scum bag who abused her mentally for years, finally driving her to suicide. This was the main reason I had to go back to England in '07 to settle her affairs. Now I ignored this guy for 17 years while they were married at my Sisters request, and I always knew it was the wrong decision. I was only there for two days but as I still have many contacts in that area I quickly tracked him down. I went to his place and without saying a word proceeded to beat the living shit out of him, and I am not a violent man. I had to be dragged off him, literally. My intention was to kill him, and I have no problem confessing this. The Police were called but he refused to press charges and moved shortly afterwards to live in Australia. I hired a lawyer to present the case in court and became legal guardian of my niece and nephew. He was shunned pretty much by the entire neighbourhood after the incident. I am not proud of what I did, but it was the right thing to do. 

Now I ignored this and rejected it for years. I closed myself off to it and did as my Sister asked. While not the same thing, the principle remains the same. Never ignore or shut out any possibility. Remain open. Again, I will state very clearly what you do is your business and nobody else's, and just because I disagree with certain things does not mean I do not respect your choices. I know you are a good man, but nothing can hurt you unless you let it. And everything catches up with us all sooner or later.

What part of knowing how to use a computer to enrich one's life and keep negative people out of your life don't you understand, buddy?...Honestly.

I get that of course, but how can you claim to be objective if you use this system? Negative balances out the positive. Without it it is very easy to become a legend in your own mind. Lacking this balance is very dangerous as it is easy (speaking from personal experience here) to get lost in ones own ideas and This is what I mean by isolated, not a real world concept but merely a response to what you wrote here.

I am of course delighted that you have such meaningful interactions in the real world. But that was not what I was referring to. (Siberians Stuffer beauties? OK, that's two you owe me now!) If you wish me to indulge in real world observations then we need pizza and lots of beer ; )

Mostly the stuff in the middle you comment on you already know the answer to, as do I. I had an email about such only yesterday which I answer in the same way. People are people, never expect them to be perfect, they judge and assume - wrongly or rightly, this is how many are. This never changes, how it changes you is another matter. And in my observations this has changed you. I feel you think you have much to prove as I once thought I did. I feel resentment in some of the things you say, even bitterness. I know these feelings only too well. Again, it is none of my business and not in any way a reflection of character, just my observations.

EG What Do You LOOK At When You Use The Computer? Is it really necessary to pick up on that, really? Do you not think it to be wrong? I cannot imagine why it would blow your friends away unless they suffer from a superiority complex. Just for the record people are people. Separated purely by differences in personality. They have the same synaptics as your friends 100 million neurons and exactly the same brain functions. Those who deem others unworthy through their own standards and opinion are the very people you claim to not want in your life, being judgmental and opinionated, and most of all assumptive. If that does not smack as hypocrisy to you, I feel sorry for you. 

A good friend once told me I had a wall around me a mile wide with machine gun turrets, barbed wire, and a moat filled with man eating piranha. Not a bad observation that, and at the time fairly accurate. These days I dismiss nothing, I cant afford to. If you believe you can, you are isolated.

Comment by THiNKTaNK on August 15, 2012 at 11:45pm

1) 'Hear follow...think Twitter. Which leads me to my next point:

2) Someone reading this can google TweetDeck. But it won't mean they understand the WHAT, WHO, WHERE & HOW of its strategic use. 

A stuffer you know intimately was right in my living room looking TweetDeck on my HDTV asking "where's your computer"? They'd never heard of it and clearly didn't get it after I explained. One reason I love F2F/phone calls is because people are denied the luxury of googling things and pretending they know or understand IN PRACTICE how stuff works. Comes up a lot in China all the time.

Why did I bring that up? Again: The ASSUMPTION/SPECULATION DISEASE so rife in China, this site and the expats:

Because an honest question like: What Do You LOOK At When You Use The Computer?

not only would shock but blow my friends away...

Here you are assuming albeit seemingly genuinely concerned about my being "isolated" when in fact my social life is fulfilled! 5,000%. Every POSITIVE thing I do/I'm doing or working on online...ONLINE, I say...socially is all set up through TweetDeck and LinkedIn.

What part of knowing how to use a computer to enrich one's life and keep negative people out of your life don't you understand, buddy?...Honestly.

Stop worrying. There're several thousands of Shenzhen Stuffers...Shanghai, Guangzhou, etc.

How many of them hang out LOUDLY in Forums, use blogs for popularity, or do ME-too parodies to make fun of some poor newbie?

Answer: Statistically and factually, very very very few.

Part of you fallacy begins when you ASSUME the people having fun are the ones who are:

1) Visible

2) Loud somehow, etc.

I meet, know, and hang out more often than you can imagine. Ask the Siberians Stuffer beauties

I cooked for and left them to watch up to 3 movies while I went to sleep...hours after  I ran into them at Huaqianbei and made them follow me to Shekou while I ran errands and them we all went back to my apartment late at night after I finished and their fun began.

REAL LIFE is not what you see on these "look at me" pages...Think different.

You don't know what you don't know.  

Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 15, 2012 at 10:23pm

Well, I wouldn't say that hence the 'lol' But what you call staying cool I call staying isolated and closed off. But each to their own. But don't waste time talking to an old confused, malcontent, misenthrope old fart like me - get that laundry done! ; )

Comment by THiNKTaNK on August 15, 2012 at 10:00pm

By George I think he's got it...

FINALLY

Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 15, 2012 at 5:57pm

Lol ok man, stay cool.

Comment by THiNKTaNK on August 15, 2012 at 3:14pm

You should really let any comments on (it is your choice of course) if not purely for the entertainment value I think ; )

Never. I know what value is when I see it.

Thank God I did long before Walmart, Tesco and great mentors inspired me.
And like any REAL Jamaican or Comedian, I'm too cool to let a statue, troll or bore tell me what funny or fun is.

Yeah, I said it! I'm OUT!

PEACE!

Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on August 15, 2012 at 3:03pm

Lol no need to repeat yourself amigo, got it the first time and so what? Improvise, adapt, overcome. Get freaky with it. You should really let any comments on (it is your choice of course) if not purely for the entertainment value I think ; )

I will watch it - promise.

Don't be too busy, all work and no play...

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