Perhaps your dad used to touch you when you were sleeping? Maybe you have no friends and people spit on you in the street? Or do you have hideous personal hygeine issues that keep folks at a healthy distance? Whatever your social malady – Warhammer 40K can't help!
Here we take life's rejects to play Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen, and we extract large amounts of cash from them. In exchange they get some crappy lead figures – which they have to paint themselves (but heck it's not like these losers have lives anyway is it?), and they can pretend to be space marines or orcs.
That's right you can pretend to be an orc. A confused orc, wondering why the hell it's not doing something with cool people rather than a cock weasel like you, but an orc nonetheless.
Better still you can be a whole horde of orcs. It won't stop old ladies from beating you up for your lunch money, but when you're on the floor sobbing your life out – you can blame Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen.
We're so confident that you have nothing better to do, that we'll let you play for free! As long as you buy lots of figures and rule books eventually. If you don't do that – my mum will kick your arse.
It's the perfect game for illiterates and those who failed to finish high school. After all orcs can't spell.
So come join us at Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen, it's the least fun you'll have had all year.