Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen – Where the Fun Never Starts!
Perhaps your dad used to touch you when you were sleeping? Maybe you have no friends and people spit on you in the street? Or do you have hideous personal hygeine issues that keep folks at a healthy distance? Whatever your social malady – Warhammer 40K can't help!
Here we take life's rejects to play Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen, and we extract large amounts of cash from them. In exchange they get some crappy lead figures – which they have to paint themselves (but heck it's not like these losers have lives anyway is it?), and they can pretend to be space marines or orcs.
That's right you can pretend to be an orc. A confused orc, wondering why the hell it's not doing something with cool people rather than a cock weasel like you, but an orc nonetheless.
Better still you can be a whole horde of orcs. It won't stop old ladies from beating you up for your lunch money, but when you're on the floor sobbing your life out – you can blame Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen.
We're so confident that you have nothing better to do, that we'll let you play for free! As long as you buy lots of figures and rule books eventually. If you don't do that – my mum will kick your arse.
It's the perfect game for illiterates and those who failed to finish high school. After all orcs can't spell.
So come join us at Warhammer 40K in Shenzhen, it's the least fun you'll have had all year.
Views: 208
Comment
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Comment by Magnus on June 29, 2012 at 4:23am -
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Comment by Cynic The Troll on June 28, 2012 at 6:20am -
Maybe he could get into one of those "Zombie Pub Crawls" I heard about.
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Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on June 27, 2012 at 5:51pm -
I'm not strange, I'm just misunderstood. Shit, some of my mates were way stranger than me. Not even going down the whole cross dressing road thing... ; )
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Comment by Profanipenguin on June 27, 2012 at 5:09pm -
@David, it appears that you were even stranger than me as a child. ;-)
@FL - It's part of my free advertising for spammers on SZS program. I think it does them well to be rewarded.
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Comment by Filthy Lucre on June 27, 2012 at 4:34pm -
Whenever I see the words gamer, xBox,Halo, etc. my mind clicks off and I go to the next discussion. Clearly I missed some interesting comments.Will have to retrain my mind.
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Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on June 27, 2012 at 3:04pm
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Well what else were they good for? Apart from simulating sexual positions with your sisters Barbie, leaving them on her bed in assumed position with props, cigarettes, (using the drill again) and lubricant jelly smeared everywhere if so inclined and waiting for her to scream "MUM!!" when she saw it. That one never got old, and that drill was damn handy. But the cherry on top was after at age 11 discovering my friends older sisters vibrator one day. You can imagine the scene we left with it and her old Barbie on her bed that day. Mind you, it was a tight fit ; )
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Comment by Profanipenguin on June 27, 2012 at 2:53pm
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@EP and FM - thank you
@ZOMB - Cheers!
@David - I'm glad I'm not the only one responsible for the wholesale slaughter of Action Men. :-)
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Comment by David - 戴維在中國 on June 27, 2012 at 2:30pm
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That's just so sad. Speaking of which, as a nipper we played with Action Man (don't judge me) who had one fatal drawback, no anus. So when bored my best friend and I would use a drill from My Dad's shed to drill one, insert a banger, retire, and watch them go *bang* This got a little boring after a while so we tried to come up with new ways in which to explode them from the inside. We filled one with Petrol and stuffed it with 3 or 4 bangers and used some gunpowder from the other bangers to taper a fuse trail, lit the fuse and watched it go *bang* and melt in flames. A possible solution to the warhammer problem also there.
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Comment by Zen on my back on June 27, 2012 at 11:50am -
I used to play D&D ages ago. You make me feel so dirty now... ;)
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Comment by Profanipenguin on June 27, 2012 at 10:30am
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Spammers never prosper. Rank 1 on the world's largest search engine - brought to you by the penguin.
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